I am a dream big kind of girl. I am also an unrealistic one. Give me five minutes and I try to turn it into an hour. The closer a destination is to my house the later I am arriving. If I am planning an event I want it to be bigger than Oprah’s 50th birthday party with a budget closer to my grocery bill. I have no sense of reality at all! I do have the ability to stretch what is possible out farther than what most people will even try because of my disconnect with reality.
It’s a gift to be unrealistic sometimes.
I have been working within the Save Darfur movement for nearly four years now. My role has included working with a team of people to organize a screening of Hotel Rwanda, flying in Mark Brecke to share his documentary They Turned Our Desert Into Fire with the people of Lansing and going door to door to collect pop cans to raise money for the Civilian Protection Program of the Genocide Intervention Network. I have organized volunteers, delivered post card and called churches. I have been astonished by the giving of people with little and the disinterest of those who have more.
This journey has built a different understanding of what Jesus meant when he said to protect the orphans and the widows. My fear of the common man has probably grown because of the evil perpetrated on others. However, my hopefulness and respect has grown for individuals who have suffered, survived and begun healing from the tragedies I cannot even comprehend.
I have guilt though. I spend too much money on things I do not need. I don’t spend enough time helping outside of my emails and behind the scene motivating of other’s to help. I hate that I don’t have more time to give. I feel like Oskar Schindler, wondering if I could do a bit more and what kind of difference it would make. Forgive the exaggeration, he obviously has done more for humanity than me but I suppose you get my drift.
A few years ago I had a great conversation with a friend from GI-Net that was my helper and mentor through the beginning of my advocacy days. He told me that we must all remain humble in what we are able to accomplish in this world. Our passion for change can become a weapon of guilt in our lives because we can all only do so much. I am constantly reminding myself that I am human and therefore only capable of so much.
And what of my family? I am responsible for three amazing boys who will grow up and go out into the world with the lessons I am able teach them. If I spend my time ignoring their needs because of my need to serve others what will that teach them? What will that do to their self esteem. My husband, my family and my dear friends all deserve to have the best of my love and loyalty.
I will continue to ask others to do more even when I cannot. Otherwise we will never make the ends meet. We will all toil in our disjointed efforts to feed the hungry, heal the sick and help the newcomers in a foreign land. Separately, we will become exhausted and our humanity will tell us that we should give up.
The Mother Flippin’ Bar Crawl is scheduled for May 22nd, 2010 from 6pm to 10pm. I have designed t-shirts and they are available for purchase. I have spoken to several local bars and they are happy to have us come out. I am turning 30 and I want nothing more than to convince others to do a bit more. My goals are to raise awareness, raise funds and have a beer for the cause.
I don’t think that is too much to ask! :)