Messy Kisses

The Baby Jonses have hit the Torok household.  In the midst of moving and renovating our first store front, advocacy work and general family busyness, my husband held me the other day and said, “Maybe we should start planning the next one.”  My first reaction was to gently remind him that we have a baby and run screaming from the room.

We all decide whether or not to have more children using different criteria. The usual suspects include financial stability, excess energy to parent and physical ability. We mull the facts over in our head. Diapers at Sam’s* cost a little over $35, I am barely keeping up with the kid(s) I have and last time was risky, do I dare try again? After much deliberation a decision is made.

I have always wanted a big family. Spend some time with my brothers and sister and you will understand why.

We laugh ’til we cry in this family and we are fiercly in love with each other. I have always wanted that strong sibling bond for my kids. I have even gone so far as to consistently brainwash my kids by repeating, “Your brother is your best friend. You wouldn’t want to hurt your best friend would you?” I feel no shame in saying things like that a million times. At least as much as I say put your dirty laundry in the hamper….please!

And this is what I usually get for my efforts.

We also weigh the struggles we would rather forget. The weight of a child collapsing between your knees in the 8th month of pregnancy. The pain of contractions and the dreaded epesiotomy. The growth you have to make as a parent maneuvering through the daily changes and needs of your children.  We dread the sleepless nights spent begging God to MAKE HIM SLEEP! or MAKE HIM BETTER!

And then there are the memories we long for. The smell of a sleeping baby and the way they sleep nurse after a feeding. Their first coos and giggles. All mother’s talk about these things everytime a new baby is brought into their presence. Our battle stretchmarks are discussed, boob placement, labor pains, the dissapearance of our collective belly buttons and hair growth or loss. We tell it all except for the things we forget.

Unless, you’re like us.  We are blessed to have been able to make the leap and have another baby. Levi has reminded us of so many things. How a baby tends to stretch out into the world and gather all the resources around it. Time is no longer an issue or should I say an option. What baby wants, baby gets or we all suffer the consequences. Babies come with more stuff then Paris Hilton and her entourage. Now that I think of it…we are Levi’s entourage.

Okay. Seriously. Who wouldn’t want another one of these smiles in your house?

I forgot that when I am nursing him on the 7th night (the worst for me by far) and my husband covers his head with the pillow to block out both of our tears, I want nothing more than to smother my husband for his insensitivity and blame it on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Obviously an odd strain that effects husbands not willing to sit up and sob with their wives.

Now that Levi is a one year old I am enjoying the newest of the old. A baby who dances at the sound of Winnie the Pooh’s theme song. Baby Einstein IS movie making genius. Playing at the park no longer consists of snack monitoring with the other mommies.  It now consists of a soft, squishy hand wrapped around my pointer finger leading me to the slide again and again.  Just recently while trying to put him down for a nap he pretended to grab my nose and eat it. What? Yep, my one year old picked up on that trick from one of his uncles, I am sure. He also gives me those delicious opened-mouth kisses on demand! Oh, heaven.

We have made no decisions about having another baby but when we do I will have this little note to remind myself of the things to remember and which things to forget. When all is said and done, I wouldn’t give up those messy kisses for the world.

* I have completely banned Walmart from my shopping routine and Sam’s is on it’s way out after seeing the documentary Walmart:High Cost of Low Price.  Check it out!

One thought on “Messy Kisses

  1. Oh, what a joy. I have 4 sisters, and usually feel like I could use four more. I love your insight, and the nose grabbies!

    Um, who is giving routine episiotomies these days?! That's barbaric.

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