Saturday Morning Confessions

It’s Saturday morning.  My coffee cup runneth over and the cartoons are entertaining two out of three children.  The third is randomly calling me between sentences to retrieve that or give him more of that.  Or simply to ask that, “I help?”.  It is much cuter in person. 

This has become a concrete self rewarding appointment in my schedule book.  Another is Tuesday Girls to the Rescue, a standing coffee date with my fabulously wise and beautiful friends. It feels like I take a lot of time for myself.  This week has been exceptionally heavy on the mommy guilt.  As the head gorilla marketer and bean counter for our family business, I have been the chicken with her head cut off.  Our new office site is in need of modest decorating before our first seminar…Evah!  I have invites to send, schedules to coordinate and I still have to effectively co-run the business with my husband.
This week’s order has been as high as a giraffe’s balls, and that’s high!

Crass?  I know.  My MIL said that phrase to me this week and I nearly peed my pants.  I love her so much. top of the business I have begun to read, The Price of Stones by Twesigye Jackson Kaguri for a review for The New Citizens Press.  It will be a challenge to finish the book before writing the review.  Not because the book is boring or badly written but because I was so inspired by the first two chapters I looked at my husband and said, “I so have this thing already written in my head. I love this book.”  While pregnant I swore off any books of real weight because of how deeply they have effected me in the past.  It has been two years and this book was the best step back into the world’s problems because it’s about solutions.
Oh look. There I go writing the review.  Stay tuned for that one.

(If you live in Lansing, you can pick this little treasure up at Everybody Reads on Michigan Ave., a great little independent business)
I have had three interviews related to either my business or my blog in the past two weeks.  Abubakar is coming to Lansing to share his story about life in Darfur and as a refugee to the United States on October 9th from 2-4pm at the downtown branch of the Capital Area District Library.  A friend is making the flyer and I have paperwork to fill out to make sure I can use their display window on behalf of the Michigan Darfur Coalition starting in September to promote the event.  

I find that no matter the ambition or the idea, when I decide to do it, I do.  It sounds better than it is.  All of this to tell you that Isaiah has put me on a strict diet of one hour on the computer today and I have already exceeded it.  My children have been neglected this week as I stretched the limits on what I could accomplish. Did I mention that I am an epic failure?  

Today I am going to do something I haven’t done in months.  I am going to review my schedule and my obligations.  I am not giving anything up but I do need to be more organized.  When I was a girl I remember a pastor saying that claiming there is not enough time in the day is like saying God didn’t create the world correctly.  What you are really saying is you are trying to do too much in the time God gives us.  My dad is good about reminding me that I only get 24 hours.

Although, this morning I heard Dr. Ben Carson say that if you need something done ask a busy person because they will find away to get it done.  If you ask someone who isn’t busy, they say they don’t have the time because it takes them all day to do nothing.  I am guilty of stretching the limits.  I wake up early and stay up late.  Be advised that this is never for additional housework or menu planning.  I do that stuff, if at all, during the day.  

A couple of months ago I started thinking about the possibility of having our fourth child.  So far, every time I think about it, my inner speak shouts no and hides in the bathroom.  I love being with my children. I love pregnancy and nursing.  I love their funny comments and watching them grow in amazing little stages.  They add so much to my life.  The final question is what do I have left to add to theirs?

I am a capable, loving mother (who just handed her 20 month old a DOTS candy at 8:23am so that he will let her finish this post).  Next week will be better and all of the self motivating rhetoric all mothers say to themselves after a rough week.  That rhetoric is mostly true.  Today I need no sugar coating.  Today I need to remind myself that my most important project is adding value to the lives of three boys that we decided to bring into our life.

Got any Saturday morning confessions?  Not because misery loves company but because…well, actually it’s because misery loves company.

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