Sooo, I’ve been a bit confused. It happens. I am only human.
I have remembered something forgotten. Something that makes me less angry at You.
I forgot who my father was.
You see, down here, we get wrapped up in familial connections. Adam begot Seth and all of that. We feel tied to our ancestry. The people who created us have a way of defining who we become. Their issues, their sins become our curse. It is truth.
The truth I had forgotten?
That I, daughter of Kimberly and Anthony was first a Daughter of the King.
This truth does not take away from the hurts of the past. Pain is pain and it can be unbearable.
It does redefine our ending and our beginning when we realized that we were covered by You from the beginning. That my survival was in that covering. The space inside myself that I was able to hide in was created by You. The blood that covered the threshold. The passing over.
I am not damaged or dead. I survived and that means I am of the living.
I still question.
Why did it have to happen? How did I endure and survive? How do I manage to thrive even now?
Answers I suppose you reveal a piece at a time. I am like Moses, begging to see Your face and only capable of seeing Your back from a cleft in the mountain.
So now that I am of the living, I have some climbing to do. Out of that space. Out of that place I needed for so long. Like an apartment overgrown. Like Alice in Wonderland, I am overgrown.
Because the living have a voice.
I suppose the silent treatment is ending.
You’ll be hearing from me.