Mouth Guard

I do not consider myself a tough woman.  To clarify, I am a strong woman but I have never considered myself physically tough.  I hate pain and do everything I can to avoid it.  Think 30 year old woman with impacted wisdom teeth and you will understand me better.  I have never participated in any sport that involved contact.  I am a lover not a fighter.

Yesterday, I purchased a mouth guard for my Derby 101 training. 

The very idea of the slobber inducing gear grosses me out but I bought one.  Clearly the idea of me with ice hockey mouth grosses me out more.
My husband and I carefully read the directions on how to mold it to my own teeth using boiling water in the kitchen late at night.  My husband forgot to set the timer.  Correction, he set the timer and forgot to push start.  It was a little hot when I put it in my mouth and I complained when he told me to push it onto my teeth to make it mold correctly.  Once formed, I ran it under cold water and wondered at my little mouth guard.
And then…
I couldn’t take it out of my mouth.  We sat on the couch and watched Get Smart (one of my favorite movies of all time) with my lip forcibly protruded.  He looked over and laughed at me.  I giggled at myself.  Once I realized that I couldn’t drink a glass of wine with it in, I decided to take it out.  Priorities and all.
I then realized I did not purchase a case for it and so there is no real hygienic place for me to keep it.  It spent the night on my coffee table.  
Germs, psssh!  That’s how tough girls do it.

One thought on “Mouth Guard

  1. So ever since you mentioned to me that you had blogs “set up” to post, I've felt a little less lame-o next to you. (This is the beginning of a humorous compliment, not an insult to either of us.) See, I was imagining you popping out of bed, — waking the sun even — crazy like Amadeus, scrabbling for your keyboard so you could tap out a brilliant and witty post that was screaming to get out of your head and into the blogosphere. Turns out it might be written days before and told to take a little nap until you give it permission to go out and join its friends. I guess I need to consider a little more before I start putting people on pedestals. Of course, you do leave your mouth guard out, germs be dam*ed, so maybe you *are* a bada$$. ;)

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