Feel it All

Today I am a grumpy bunny.  I am so crabby, I am answering questions in grunts.  Do you ever have days like that?   To explain why, you would have had to sit in on the gut wrenching counseling session I had on Wednesday.  The flushing of a wound leaves me aching.  So I haven’t been myself for a couple of days.

Or maybe I am more myself.  More in tune.  Like an animal that snarls at a helpful hand because she is in pain.

I hate to be a downer on a Monday.  We all need a pick me up today, no?

I stumbled on this song on Saturday and I am bursting to make you all listen to it.  The piano is played on my heart this morning.  Kick drum on the basement floor.

It is easy to avoid painful experiences but it take courage to just be where you are.  This is where I am today.  I feel it all.

My wings are wide.  Not in a soar, more like a glide.

This song is a salute to those of the walking wounded choosing to enter the crowd. 

Every time it plays I feel like I am saying something to the world.  I feel like the quiet is being shattered.  Abuse celebrates in silence.  It revels in quiet.  In the say nothings.  I didn’t rest, I didn’t stop.

I get that this song is not about me.  I kind of get that…but I am pretty sure it is for me today.

How lovely, to feel it all.  I want to beat a drum spewing fireworks with a stick. 
You can imagine that this field of fire is my heart.

Happy Monday darlings.

Today I am dancing in a field of noisy fireworks and not catching on fire.
I feel it all I feel it all
I feel it all I feel it all
The wings are wide the wings are wide
Wild card inside wild card inside

Oh I’ll be the one who’ll break my heart
I’ll be the one to hold the gun

I know more than I knew before
I know more than I knew before
I didn’t rest I didn’t stop
Did we fight or did we talk

Oh I’ll be the one who’ll break my heart
I’ll be the one to hold the gun

I love you more
I love you more
I don’t know what I knew before
But now I know I wanna win the war

No one likes to take a test
Sometimes you know more is less
Put your weight against the door
Kick drum on the basement floor
Stranded in a fog of words
Loved him like a winter bird
On my head the water pours
Gulf stream through the open door
Fly away
Fly away to what you want to make

I feel it all, I feel it all
I feel it all I feel it all
The wings are wide, the wings are wide
Wild card inside, wild card inside

Oh I’ll be the one to break my heart
I’ll be the one who’ll break my heart
I’ll be the one who’ll break my heart
I’ll end it thought you started it

The truth lies
The truth lied
And lies divide
Lies divide


Fiest – I Feel It All

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