Killing Cacti

This fantastic piece of failure was written as a part of the Mother Flippin’: One Funny Mother Fallen Quiche Friday series. A Fallen Quiche moment is a celebration of failure.  Please read to the end to find a list of links to other bloggers who admit failure with a bit of a laugh.  Now we know that we are not alone.
I will be the first to admit that when it comes to the fine art of house wivery, I kind of suck.
Yes, I am aware that my vocabulary should provide me another way to describe that but this word choice is pretty accurate.
I have no schedule for cleaning, I forget things on my calender simply by not checking it, dinners are always prepared just in time for us to have to leave for a scheduled event with an empty stomach and a pocket full of cereal bars.  I fall short.  I try and I am baffled.  I thought that I had discovered one way to beat the domestic system.  House plants.
I am not talking lush palms or rhododendrons. There are no lemon trees or ferns on my porch either.  I only buy cacti for my home.  This affinity for spiky plants is partially a salute to my hometown
*clap clap clap clap* Deep in the heart of Texas!
and partially a salute to my inability to keep anything alive that needs more attention than a desert succulent.
Imagine my dismay when I looked over and say this droopy cactus arm.  WTH!
I have managed to nearly kill a plant that could potentially withstand the harshness of Death Valley.  A plant that needs very little of the TLC that other plants demand.  I feel like I stole candy from a baby.  I feel like I just tripped an old lady using a cane.  This poor plant.
I give up.  This weekend, I will take my damaged cacti (I have two that are dying) over to my mother-in-law’s home where plants go to be pampered, named and sunned on the porch.  I am going to dust myself off and recognize that indoor plants are not for me.
I will stick with what I have said for years.  If God cannot care for them, then they will die.  That is why the plants in my yard that are solidly embedded in the ground are lush and happy.  Those plants in pots appear to be begging me to just let them go into the light.
And if I get sad at the thought of admitting failure in yet another column of the domestic diva arts, I will look past the empty spot left by my cacti sent to foster care to the trim around the door.
You see those lines on my wall.  Those are lines for each of my children and how they have grown over the years.
Plants?
No, plants are not safe in my care but children…… I grow like a flippin’ pro!
******
Please take a moment to read about this bloggers Fallen Quiche moment.  Although, she is from New Zealand and it will be Saturday where she is.  Her suggestion?  Sucken Souffle Saturday! 

*Tee Hee*
KiwiMum on a Mission shares her Mission….Failed
Kiwi mum of three trying to make a difference where we live but mostly just trying to get the washing done.

One thought on “Killing Cacti

  1. that is sooooo funny – I too suck at houseplants – I killed our Yukka tree (Which I think is almost as hard to do as killing a cactus but not quite….)

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