Help Wanted: Must Be Willing To Stiff Arm the Elderly

I am seriously concerned that the amount of coffee I drink today will not be nearly enough to keep me going. I have overbooked, over-committed and overdone already this week.  
This always happens to me because I allow it and I just don’t know how.
I need a bouncer for my calender.  I will be accepting applications starting today.  
Calender Bouncer Job Description
Must know how and be willing to utilize the word, “no” liberally and often.
Must be willing to shake a finger and arch an eyebrow at me when good times get rollin’ out of control.
Must follow a set list of priorities at all times. (List will be provided upon acceptance of position)
Does not allow for unrealistic expectations of time. “I can certainly write a column piece, go to a fundraiser and stop a bloody nose in five minutes.”
Will not allow for hyper focused perfectionism.
Will wear an abundance of time pieces, carry notepads full of lists to-do and a few extra appendages just in case they are needed.
Will stiff arm any man or beast that tries to disrupt the calender. (children and the elderly are included)
Must be willing to toss me over the shoulder and carry me out like a kidnapping victim if I disrupt my schedule by procrastinating and arriving late making a graceful entrance or staying too long.
Daily review of agenda for the day and upcoming week will be required.
*sigh*  Any takers?  Anyone? *crickets*
Yep. I thought so.  I better go check my calender.  I am probably forgetting something right now.

4 thoughts on “Help Wanted: Must Be Willing To Stiff Arm the Elderly

  1. Lots of extremely good reading here, thanks! I had been researching on yahoo when I discovered your submit, I’m going to add your feed to Google Reader, I look forward to additional from you.

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