I would like to report that I have worked my Heineken off for the love of derby.
In fact, the opposite may always be true in this sport. I have actually worked my Heinekin on.
I swear it is growing from all of the skating, hopping and cutting. I was looking in the mirror the other day and have notices a marked improvement in the size and shape of my derrier. I am not complaining. It looks good on me….if I do say so myself.
I have finally completed my skills testing. I am a Vixen now. Not a baby Vixen or a toddler Vixen or a prepubescent Vixen. I am a full fledged, card carrying member of the Lansing Derby Vixens and it hurts so good. I have a very colorful bruise on my shoulder from my future derby wife Psycho Hose Beast (I will explain all of that later – think BFF with skates). I will be checking tonight for her half of that bruise.
Someone on the team was looking for the crutches that apparently have been passed between many team members today. I am pretty sure their is not pedicure in the world that can cure the callouses from my derby feet. It sounds crazy good to ask my husband if he has seen my purple tights. The grocery list now contains high protein chocolate milk, blister care and ace bandages. My most exciting purchase this week was a package of Gumball Toe Stops bought online by my girl Annie Oxident. I have a weekly date planned for the Dispatch and have begun to realize that nothing derby funny is funny anywhere else…as far as I can tell.
I do love this sport even if every week I get all nervous before practice thinking this is the week they are going to realize just how sucky I am and kick me off of this awesome team. Once I put on my skates I regain confidence, fall proudly and revel in my elbow pad Velcro scrapes with the people on my team.
I am addicted to the confidence I have in my body, my girls who help me Jam through a pack or line up to booty block and my team that works together to make every bout happen.
It is good to be a VIXEN.