Grandma Calls it Growing

I didn’t recognize the voice or the number that flashed across my caller I.D. 

956?

9 – 5 – 6 . . . ?

Did I pay all of my bills on time?  Sad but it’s true. That’s what I thought.

Her hellos were familiar but over the ruckus of three boys hopped up on video games a la Funtyme of Okemos and dum dums, it was hard to make out.  

And then it hit. 

*sigh*  Grandma.

“Granddaughter, you have been on my mind.”

She went on for a minute about all of the times she thought of calling me and failed.  She and I both know that the call fail will always be with me.  Someday I will regret it.

She heard that I was hurting.  She heard that things were not easy.  She, like God, came right on time even if it was not when I asked.

Her yeah, yeahs were like the ones said over a little girl with bloody, skinned knees. 

She didn’t say it was fine.  She didn’t say she knew how to fix it.  She said that I was growing. 

Growing

Truth is I am feeling much, much better.  Days are making more sense.  Past trauma doesn’t seem to be chasing me down with such leg aching speed.  I am stronger for it.  I am not hiding from it. 

She just put a name on it.  Growing.  Stretching into my own bigger space in this world.  Learning how much more room I have to fill in this world.  Recognizing that I have never been less than but always more than how I was treated when I was just a tiny girl.

Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. 

Her jokes come like my own, tinged with just enough reality to ensure that others can recognize truth behind the knee slapper.

I hope I grow up to be just like her.

I programmed her phone number into my fancy texting, posting, mapquesting wonder of a phone and I will call her more often. 

Someday, I know I won’t regret it.

2 thoughts on “Grandma Calls it Growing

  1. Grandmas always put things into perspective. I love my Grandma dearly and have been lucky to develop a phone relationship with her while I was living in Massachusetts for 3 years. Now that we've moved home to Michigan, I get to see her and my Grandpa more often. I think I'll give her a call tonight. I know there will be a day when I miss her repeating stories and asking the same questions. Grandmas are wonderful.

  2. Joyous!

    I am experiencing being a Grandma, and will soon be a God Grandma. It's joyous from this side too! I've just been celebrating, not much thinking about what it could feel like from the other side. Thank you again!

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