Leave A Message

I almost wrote you an answering machine message tonight.

“Hi!  You have found Tashmica’s Mother Flippin’ Blog!  I am not here right now.  Leave a message and I will be sure to get right back with you.  Bye!”

This space has felt pretty empty lately.  Sorry about that.  I have just been too busy.  I have had plenty to say.  I have lots of words scribbled here and there to remind myself of things I meant to tell you.

Tonight, I am writing and scarfing down two egg sandwiches with tomato, avocado and chipotle mayo.  My body is aching from a pretty good derby practice and my mind is all discombobulated from a productive day at work.  I am also a little scared and my nail polish is chipped.

I have done two things this week that make me want to pee my pants.

#1 – I started researching my father for my book.  So if you happen to be the Nancy Drew type (Gosh, I loved her!), let me know!  I could use a good sleuth in my life right now.

#2 – I enrolled in my first college course since I was pregnant with Isaiah.  That would be nine years, ladies and gentleman.

I am scared.  Legitimately.  I am afraid that I will not be able to pass a class.  I am afraid that I will never write this book and that I am just going through the motions like an old record player without a needle.  What if I can’t write it well?  Or, even worse, what if I am too weak, fragile, mentally broken to stick with the story.  It is a hard story to tell – even with my wit and charm the details can still send me to bed early with a bottle glass of sangria.

*inhale*  *exhale*

It doesn’t matter today.  I just took a flying leap out of a boat not quite on shore and landed sturdy on solid ground.  I am asking the questions I need the answers too.  It may never fill a book.  It will fill empty spots in me that I need corked.Image

I am going to get that damned writing degree and then tattoo those letters behind my name.

I have already learned so much.

So, now.  I have left you a message.  I hope you are all well.  Be fearless.  Give me a call sometime and we will do lunch.

Fear facing,

Tashmica

PS – I forgot something else!

#3 – I made an appointment for my quarter sleeve at Fish Ladder Tattoo.  Yipe!

3 thoughts on “Leave A Message

  1. I can help with some encouragement for ONE of your fears, I hope. College is much more enjoyable as a grown up. There’s something about having cool, grown-up comments, quips and anecdotes to share in class. It’s also pretty cool to be able to put your education to work in real life situations. I know that you will do great! Plus, you love writing so much! Just imagine…you’ll get assignments where you will be given new and different topics to write about – things you may not have even considered writing about before! And who knows, you may just receive some divine inspiration to help you in writing your book. This is toooo cool – time to get excited!!!

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  3. Dear Ginnie – I’ve responded with the following mail. I am good friends with Stefani Torok – and odds are since there are so many of you – that you surely related to her:

    Dear Principal Johnston,

    I was informed by good friends that your office failed to enforce anti-bullying measures on behalf of Lilly Torok, Ginnie Torok’s daughter, who is currently attending Holt Public Schools. When students would make fun of her and even go as far as to pull a chair from under her when the poor child was trying to sit down, your office took no action against the students agitating this poor girl. This was later deemed an “accident” by your office.

    As a former Holt alumni – I would like to communicate to you that the Torok family is an upstanding family within our community – and are well-known amongst the voting populace in Delhi Township. What was communicated to me by good friends, illustrates the lack of standards at your school to enforce bullying ever since Dr. Johnny Scott’s departure from HJHS to his promotion as Superintendent. Dr. Scott was principal at Holt Jr. High in 1999 when I went to Holt and Holt strongly enforced its zero-tolerance policy – even suspending students for such behavior or at least giving them detention.

    I would like to reiterate – that failure to comply with an anti-bullying zero-tolerance policy is not going to be in your favor at forthcoming meetings with the school board- especially considering our ties as a community to the Toroks and my own political ties within Delhi Township. It is amazing and appalling to me that Holt Jr. High School will not defend it’s students. It’s obvious to me that standards at your school have changed.

    If you are from Delhi-Township – perhaps you’d know that the Toroks are very well-known and respected people both in church communities and throughout generations of Holt Public Schools alumni and alumna. It’s a tragic mistake to let such lack of leadership continue – especially when it injures one of the strongest bedrock families within Delhi Township. I’m officially disappointed in Holt Jr. High – and as a voter – I want to see action taken – and for Holt Public Schools to prove to the community within Delhi Township – as well as the students of Holt Jr. High that students attending Holt Public Schools are safe and sound in a school that protects children from bullying.

    Respectfully yours,
    Robert A. Huber

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