July will mark a wonderful anniversary for me.
No, I’m not talking about my birthday. Although, I know you know how important that day is for me.
I told my husband in December that we better start planning. My birthday is in May.
As of July, I will have been a mother for 10 years.
Isaiah, our sweetest mistake, will be 10-years-old. A completely unplanned, bundle of mysteries and lessons that I decided to accept into my life, has survived 10 years with me as his mother.
There’s your proof that angels do exist.
I cannot imagine a world where my children do not exist. I feel like I’ve always had them. When I close my eyes and think of my life before kids, I still feel their presence in those memories.
I recently learned that – crazy as it seems – It’s scientifically proven.
I have a super geeky teammate named Vicious Velma. She mentioned to me that at birth women have every egg already inside them waiting for their chance at this thing we call life.
Science says I have never lived a day without these boys which explains why I am so crazy about them.
Anyway, 10 years is a long time and affords you many lessons. In a couple of months, I am sure I will be focused on the sentimental. Today I’m feelin’ snarky.
1. No matter how loud you call them, they will pretend that they can’t hear you.
2. If you tell your children to put their shoes on, they will put on sandals in the winter and snow boots in the summer.
3. Your fridge may be stocked to the gills with delicious and healthy food. They’re not interested.
4. You will get a skull to the nose, an elbow to the lip, trip over shoes and step on Legos that feel like their number one ingredient is razor blades….
5…..and when that makes you curse, you will be judged.
6. They will try one of the following if not all of these ways to kill themselves: get lost, swim in water that is too deep, run into the street/parking lot, fall or jump off of something high, etc….
7. If you have concrete and impossible plans to change, they will get sick or try an item from #6 that will require a visit to the E.R.
8. If there is heavy snow or a down pour, your child will struggle as if in the throes of death to avoid being buckled into their carseat.
9. Your hands can never be full enough to not be asked to carry one more thing.
10. They want what you have. Always and forever, amen.
The final thing is less of a lesson and more of a law of nature.
Despite it all, you will love them and want them to live their lives guarded from pain and injury.
But seriously, how is it no one has ever died from a Lego injury?