I am not fearless.
Although something in my spirit said yes the moment I heard about auditions for the Vagina Monologues, I was scared to death.
I sought a lot of positive affirmation.
My friends gave plenty.
I talked to my mother. She said she knew I was going to do it the moment I started talking about it.
I nudged my husband about the time rehearsals would take. He didn’t even put up a fight.
I called my baby brother, who is a real actor and comedian for advice.
He told me to do this.
(That’s a lie.)
I commiserated with a friend and fellow derby girl to meet up and give the auditions all we had.
Actually, my words were:
No matter what happens, we will bear witness to the fact that we were both amazing. Regardless of whether it’s true or not. History is written by the victors.
It was a little dramatic.
Once we arrived, I nervously reviewed the monologue options and surprised myself.
I was certain that I would gravitate towards a more sassy, risque piece.
I didn’t. I got super nervous about pulling that off. I went with a quieter, more heartfelt piece.
It was called, “What If I Told You I Do Not Have A Vagina”.
I read it. And read it. And joked with the other women auditioning. I made notes on it. And then I read it again.
Then I was called in.
Everyone was just lovely. They were warm and sympathetic to my nerves.
I began my piece.
It took all of three lines before I realized that at any moment, I could burst into tears over the content.
Well this is unexpected.
I left the audition feeling really good about my performance. Which, again, I did not expect.
Acting always makes me feel a little uncomfortable – like a little girl playing dress up.
I tend to giggle. A lot. I’m ridiculous.
So much so that I decided acting was never gonna be my thing.
Before I was allowed to audition, I had to fill out a questionnaire.
Q: Why do you want to be apart of the 2015 Vagina Monologues?
A: I believe that stories are important. I would love to be able to share these stories with this community.
I am happy to report that I am now a member of the 2015 MSU Vagina Monologues.
Click here to read the full article in the State News and save the dates of February 27th and 28th!
You’ll want to get your tickets because The Firecracker Foundation will be the official beneficiary of this year’s production.
I think it’s a wonderfully, happy accident to be celebrating all of this a few days after the 26th anniversary of my father’s death.
Stories are important.
On October 21st, I will be telling mine in solidarity with 12 other survivors (so far). Starting at midnight. 24 hours.
An online collaborative storytelling event to discuss what it means to tell.
Despite a quick rearranging of my schedule to accommodate rehearsals *hair toss*, I am still hosting a Google Hangout to discuss #WhyItold.
Register by filling out this form:
Let’s talk about prompts, trolls, trigger warnings and crisis hotlines. Let’s talk about what happens when you speak your truth.
I’ve got some experience to lend. I’m sure you do to.
PS – Whether you are a survivor or an ally, you should click here to RSVP on Facebook.