The Sock Hop

I believe that you lose a bit of your soul every time you have to match and fold white socks.

I hate it.

I know.  This is the part when you tell me folding is for suckers.  You probably just pile them in a drawer somewhere and match while you go.

I am sure that is just awesome for you, yourself and…you.

Huh.  That worked out way better in my head.

As for me and my house, we have a lot of feet.  Ten feet, to be exact.  Most of which need a readily available pair of socks prior to putting on shoes.

If you have a lot of children, like I do, than you know that a single road block on the way to becoming fully dressed is like the Berlin Wall of accessorizing.  There is no try. There is only do or watch your children completely lose it over the mismatched sock drawer.

“Isaac, do you have your shoes on?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“There are no socks in the sock drawer.”

“Yes, there are.”

“Not in my size.”

Harumph.

“Of course, there *move socks around* are.  I just folded *pushes more socks to the side* socks yesterday. Who unfolded all the socks? *darts evil stare at Vito*

*Vito smiles, farts and pretends to cluck like a chicken.*

Wonderful.

Some hours later, we do finally manage to finish preparing to venture out into the world and I am already exhausted.  It is 9a.m.

Today, I decided that the boys could and would help me fold socks.  Vito was mainly directed to play elsewhere.  I showed them how to match and then how to tuck the socks inside themselves to keep them together.

Isaac was off like a flash.

If it were to save his life, Isaiah could not fold socks.

I taught.

He struggled.

I encouraged.

He complained.

I became frustrated.

He did too.

“Isaiah, why is this so hard for you?” I said completely perplexed.

“It’s just not my gift.”

I laughed. I laughed loud.

I then encouraged him to keep trying.  He kept whining and I started to think.

COME ON, MOMMY BRAIN!  There has got to be something I can use from my handbook on parenting!

What is it?  What is…it?!

I HAVE IT!

*Sigh*

“I *dramatic pause* am a terrible cook.”

“Mom, you cook good stuff all of the time.”

“Oh honey, it was not my gift though.  I hated cooking and had to practice for years to learn how to make things that taste good for my family.  I still don’t really enjoy it.  It’s something I have had to work on.  Now, I am proud of a very few things I can make for friends and family.”

*Isaiah, catching on to the parallels, eyes me suspiciously*

“Keep trying, babe.  You’re doing well.  It may take a minute but you’ll get it.”

*Isaiah drops sock*

Wordless Wednesday: Sleepyheads

I was doing my late night checks.

This is similar to what you’ve seen in Girl Interrupted but with more love.

I go through the boys’ bedrooms shutting off lights, covering bare toes and kissing lightly warm foreheads.

I’m also making sure all of my boys are where I left them. Sometimes they move.

I panic a little and eventually find them sleeping under the bed, in a closet or in a laundry basket piled high with blankets.

All of those things have happened.

Levi wasn’t in bed last night. So, I went to the next obvious place, my bed.

Nothing.

I could hear him breathing. I checked the floor on the other side of the bed.

Nothing.

And then this.

image

He had slipped under the fitted sheet.

image

(Yes, he does have a shiner.  I told you.  He’s a mob boss.)

My guy lifted the veil so I could snap that photo. I stifled giggles while Paul lifted him up and headed to the correct little bed.

I guess he gets his sleeping habits honestly.

This is our Little Fish at around the same age.  My apples are lying directly under the right trees.

If you have a sleepyhead photo of your child you’d like to share, visit The Mother Flippin’ Fan Page and add your own Wordless Wednesday to the wall. :)

Enjoy your day, wherever you may fall asleep.

Love and checks,

Tashmica

I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore

Lately, Vito has been taking his naps later in the day.  He has also taken to going without pants.  We can rarely go on long drives or run errands without two changes of clothes.

We are potty training and it is running our  lives.

That may be a bit of an exaggeration. Afterall, we have done this before.

Listen.  We are not those types of parents who are trained by their kids.  We don’t set timers.  We don’t potty train super early.  We are legit pros.  We have made mistakes and learned practiced techniques in failure with our other two children.  Lucky them.

So this time around when Levi stood at the potty and “tried” to pee.  I didn’t run out for underwear.  I did not stock my cabinets with jelly bellies.  I was not to be fooled.  I didn’t even flinch.

Little boys in the Torok household are potty trained at the age of three.  The time before that is really a gauntlet of defecation that results in nothing but a lot of cleaning and sanitizing our home.

Levi just turned three and he is doing very well.  The learning curve seems to be appropriately sloped in our direction.

Naptimes are a challenge though.  I have to wait to put his pull up on until after he has his midday….er…movement. The combo of a sleepy, well fed toddler and a pull-up is a backwards slip into the ease of pooping in his diaper.  I, for one, am not about to let that happen.

Working from home, I feed him lunch and then wait.  We mill around in a game of toilet bowl chicken. He is wondering if I can stand the work delay and I am waiting for the inevitable.  Eventually, he gives in and runs for the toilet stripping down to his birthday suit.

It always reminds me of this song.

and we all know how that feels.

Tashmica

PS – Follow the #pottydiaries @Mother_Flippin on twitter.

Giveaway: The Potty Jotty

First of all, my bathroom is never this clean.  I ran in with a full bottle of Caldrea and wiped everything down for you. Don’t get any ideas.  I don’t even do that for everyday guests.  Only for those who:

A.  I need to impress in order to keep some sort of income or

B.  are making an offer on the joint.

My bathroom is super tidy and it just got super clever too.

Check out the new bathroom book to grace the commode of Che’ Torok.

It is the Potty Jotty. You know, because bathrooms are boring.  

Right about now you are scratching your head going…wha?!  So lemme try and explain.  A friend o’ mine dating back to high school youth group has partnered with a friend to create a guest book for your bathroom.  A little hilarity journal for your trip to the powder room.

Check out a preview here.

I have to admit.  I wasn’t sure about the idea but given a moment alone to ponder, the Potty Jotty has already made my bathroom way less boring.

Why?  Because you can’t have a Potty Jotty stand alone without adding to the pile of laughter on the back of your toilet.

Other titles include:

A Room with A View
Diary of A Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth

and…something about housewifery skillz..or somethin’ I’d only read while doing the doo.

Clearly, the Potty Jotty had me seriously pondering the puns of other titles standing next to it.  

I also added a stack for Vito.

Oh crap.

This is also what our bathroom usually looks like.

It is time for Potty Training Season III.  If that doesn’t sound like a horror movie to you than you haven’t potty trained a child yet.  Oh yes, we are veteran toilet trainers.  We have thrown cheerios in the toilet bowl, had poopy explosions in public places and have even thwarted public urination.

All of this to tell you, I am having a GIVEAWAY!!!

If you would like your own personal cheeky Potty Jotty for yourself or for a gift this is what you MUST do between now and midnight December 15th, 2011.

You must “like” The Mother Flippin Fan Page….duh.  You must “like” the Potty Jotty.

Once this is done, you must share the link to the Potty Jotty’s website whilst tagging the previously mentioned amazing facebook pages of delight….What? Too much?  :)

For your convenience…http://www.pottyjotty.com/index.html

If you don’t tag either page, I won’t see your post and that would be a waste.  I mean.  Posting links is hard.  Don’t do that for free!

Or you can enter to win using your tweets.

Follow @Mother_Flippin, @PottyJotty and then send this tweet…

#FF @Mother_Flippin to enter to win the @PottyJotty #giveaway because bathrooms are boring!

Check it.  I totally did all the work for you.

Get started now!  You only have two weeks to win!

Love,

Tashmica

PS – If you happen by my house within the next 14 days, I will inevitably grab you, shove you into the bathroom and force you to write something so I can post your shenaniganry on Facebook and Twitter.  You have been warned.  No pressure though…unless you have to pee..and then a little pressure unrelated to your trying to be funny for my mother flippin’ peeps.

Wordless Wednesday: R.I.P. Mr. Potato Head

It appears that once again, an innocent has met his demise in the Torok household. This time, violently thrown down the stairs, Mr. Potato Head lies disfigured. Apparently, the suspect didn’t even have enough shame to flee the scene of the crime.

Vito is facing an evening of finding all lost parts and putting Sir Potato back together as community service. Ah, the life of a pint sized mob boss….

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Wordless Wednesday: *yawn*

This pretty much sums up our week thus far.

A three day testing of just how early we are required to awake in order to get two fully dressed children, one ragamuffin two year old and one fashion focused mama out of the house just in time to line up at 7:40am in front of the school.

Yep. 7:40 a.m. You read that right.

I actually roll over and wake up God before the kids.

Today, we finally made it but not because I woke up at 6 a.m. when my alarm went off. We were on time because I woke up at 6:20 a.m. and barked out orders my drill sergeant father would have been proud of. I didn’t call anyone maggot though. I had to draw the line somewhere.

We made it! In the end, Isaiah did request less “NOWs!”at the end s of my sentences and more “pleases”. I didn’t make any promises.

First, we get the routine down that makes us punctual. Next, we will add niceties. :)

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