10 Years of Motherhood: Evading Death by Lego

July will mark a wonderful anniversary for me.

No, I’m not talking about my birthday. Although, I know you know how important that day is for me.

I told my husband in December that we better start planning. My birthday is in May.

As of July, I will have been a mother for 10 years.

Isaiah, our sweetest mistake, will be 10-years-old. A completely unplanned, bundle of mysteries and lessons that I decided to accept into my life, has survived 10 years with me as his mother.

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There’s your proof that angels do exist.

I cannot imagine a world where my children do not exist. I feel like I’ve always had them. When I close my eyes and think of my life before kids, I still feel their presence in those memories.

I recently learned that – crazy as it seems – It’s scientifically proven.

I have a super geeky teammate named Vicious Velma. She mentioned to me that at birth women have every egg already inside them waiting for their chance at this thing we call life.

Science says I have never lived a day without these boys which explains why I am so crazy about them.

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Anyway, 10 years is a long time and affords you many lessons. In a couple of months, I am sure I will be focused on the sentimental. Today I’m feelin’ snarky.

1. No matter how loud you call them, they will pretend that they can’t hear you.

2. If you tell your children to put their shoes on, they will put on sandals in the winter and snow boots in the summer.

3. Your fridge may be stocked to the gills with delicious and healthy food. They’re not interested.

4. You will get a skull to the nose, an elbow to the lip, trip over shoes and step on Legos that feel like their number one ingredient is razor blades….

5…..and when that makes you curse, you will be judged.

6. They will try one of the following if not all of these ways to kill themselves: get lost, swim in water that is too deep, run into the street/parking lot, fall or jump off of something high, etc….

7. If you have concrete and impossible plans to change, they will get sick or try an item from #6 that will require a visit to the E.R.

8. If there is heavy snow or a down pour, your child will struggle as if in the throes of death to avoid being buckled into their carseat.

9. Your hands can never be full enough to not be asked to carry one more thing.

10. They want what you have. Always and forever, amen.

The final thing is less of a lesson and more of a law of nature.

Despite it all, you will love them and want them to live their lives guarded from pain and injury.

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The fake pout. Vito is good.

But seriously, how is it no one has ever died from a Lego injury?

Happy parenting,

Tashmica

Finding Your Thing: Lessons from the Voluntold

I make my kids do a lot of things.

Most of it is for their benefit. I make them eat healthy foods, brush their teeth, hold hands in the parking lot and generally do things that will prolong their life.

Some things I do purely for myself. Why have children if you cannot ask them to shovel the drive, clear the table or take out the trash? It would just be wasted free labor if I didn’t.

There is too much work to be done in our home to have little idle hands hanging around.

In addition to domestic duties, my children have been subject to my insistence that we are a family of volunteers. They have passed out flyers for my roller derby league*, “worked” in a Habitat for Humanity home and placed stamps on appeals for Nyaka.

Isaiah and Isaac being volunTOLD at Nyaka while Kinzer and Gwenny volunteer.
Isaiah and Isaac being volunTOLD at Nyaka with Kinzer and Gwenny.

My husband and I are the captains of the volunteer ship and rarely even ask if anyone wants to come along. We just place it on the calendar and make sure there are tasks safe for little hands.

As we say on the Vixens, my children are voluntold for tasks not volunteered.

I usually do explain the cause and why we are helping in the car on the way over.

Nothing dramatic.

We support mommy’s roller derby team. We believe everyone should have a home. We believe that all children deserve to be loved and protected.

They usually listen for about three seconds, ask a question or two, sulk if they’d rather be playing video games and eventually realize resistance is futile before pitching in.

It’s not always pretty. Their attention span – especially Vito’s *sigh* – does not permit the dramatic shifting of mountains.

I give my time because I am passionate about service. I believe that it is important to give of your resources but you cannot truly love something if you are not willing to invest sweat equity.

The family that sweats together, loves together?

I don’t know but it seems like if I want my children to love the world around them like I do, then they have to not only see me living by my own words but they need to participate.

Isaiah is now 9-years-old and has been subjected to this lifestyle since I could tie his warm little body onto my chest so my hands could be free. He is starting to ponder deeper questions about the world around him.

He got all googly-eyed when I mentioned liking girls the other day.

I. DIE. It was so cute!

I have always given priority to organizations that serve women and children. Next in line are issues that effect families and then the environment. I’m not huge into fighting for cures or animals. I just never have been.

We all have causes that appeal to us. We have our things. Those are mine.

But what are Isaiah’s things? Does he care about roller derby? Does he want to build homes? Does he care about orphans in Uganda?

I didn’t know because I have never asked.

So one day I asked him a question.

If you could choose one thing to volunteer for, what would it be?

He looked at me kind of funny and needed a little more information before he could answer. So I broke it down for him. Forgive me if some of these terms are not P.C. but I was talking to a child.

Would you want to serve blind people, old people, animals, the environment or….?

I took some time to talk about a few different types of organizations with different beneficiaries and gave him some time to think.

After a moment of deliberation, Isaiah said that if he could choose, he would serve animals and the environment.

Those would be his things.

I was blown away by the fact that his interests were last on my own list. My son loves nature and wants to protect it.

He did not get that from me. I mean, I’m glad for nature and glad for people who keep it together. I’m just not the girl for the job.536964_10151375560588588_911503900_n

As a Christmas gift, I signed Isaiah up to volunteer at the Capital Area Humane Society.

We both attended a short orientation where we were given the rules of how to handle the animals in the shelter.

Isaiah impressed me with his care and attention to details that keep the animals safe from harm.

When he completed his orientation, he changed into his volunteer shirt before going into the grocery store. He could hardly wait to put it on.

Isaiah is the captain of this volunteer ship. We have a set date on the calendar for us to make our monthly visit and we go more often when we have time. As soon as we walk in, Isaiah runs the show. I am only there to chaperone. We visit the animals that he wants to visit and in the order he wants to visit them.

I have learned that he gets overwhelmed if an animal is too hyper or too strong. He remembers their names and asks if they have been adopted when we return. He is incredibly gentle and uses a kind voice with all of the animals. He tries to understand what they want and acts accordingly.

We leave every animal saying,”We hope we never see you again”. Isaiah understands his role is to give comfort to the animals while they wait to be adopted by others.

Watching my son doing his thing has taught me more about who he is inside.

Isaiah volunteeringWhat an incredible gift.

Following him into those kennels has given me a new love for animals and the peace that comes from being their friend.

And this whole time I thought I was the one who was supposed to be handing out lessons. :)

Sincerely,

Tashmica

PS – Click here for more information on snuggling up on some sweet dogs, cats and bunnies with your kiddos.

PSS – As I was writing this post I remembered that Isaiah kisses our dog Charlie goodnight every night and I still never guessed his thing. :)

* Shameless promotion: Come watch the Lansing Derby Vixens take on South Bend on April 20th at the Lansing Center! Tickets are just $12 in advance and kids 12 and under are FREE!