A series of reflections about how transformative justice informs my parenting.
“When you turn 18, if you don’t have a job and you’re not in school, you need to move out.”
Many parents of older teens believe and enforce that 18 is the age at which their children are adults and therefore should step out into adulthood by living on their own. As an unschooling parent of older teens moving toward adulthood, I believe that this perspective does not reflect the realities of what current teens are navigating.
Between the poor economy, the cost of higher education, the lack of jobs paying a livable wage, and the pandemic + state violence-related youth mental health crisis at our door, it is an unrealistic expectation that every young adult will be ready to live independently according to something as arbitrary as a birthday milestone.
Intergenerational living makes it possible for young adults to practice skills that they will need as they continue to move toward independence with the support of the generational wisdom + wealth of their elders.
This is just one of the many lessons affirmed while I was providing care for a medically vulnerable family member. For the next 6 months, we’ll be talking about it all over on my Patreon.
You can join the conversation by becoming a Patron today!
For example; we now involve our teens in our budgeting process so that they are aware of our cost of living and their role in the financial sustainability of our family.
As they reviewed the family budget, you should’ve seen the sticker shock on their faces. After they recovered, my children fully participated in a conversation about our resources, how we use them, and how to reduce waste so that we can meet our financial goals. They accepted our invitation to be active participants in responding to a budget shortfall rather than passive beneficiaries of their parent’s income.
Because we have been willing to expand our vision for how we parent, our children will be equipped to make difficult financial decisions and act on them with discipline and practice shared accountability within the relationships they have with partners, roommates, and others with whom they share finances.
In what ways are you creating space for intergenerational connections in service of liberation for yourself, the children you love, and your family of origin or choice?
Remember – white supremacy will always seek to disconnect us from care and community. It’s our job as elders to model ways to betray and disrupt those toxic messages.
In a full house,
PS – I want to connect dope ass people to liberatory ideas so that we can all get free. Subscribe to my newsletter to get a look at what I’m learning, what I’m building, and what’s coming next.
Our next book club gathering will be held on Sunday, August 6th at 3 p.m. EST on Zoom. I would be so happy to have you there.
We can’t seem to put down ‘The Future is Disabled: Prophecies, Love Notes, and Mourning Songs’ by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha but now we’ve also picked up her other book, ‘Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice’.
Please don’t feel any pressure to finish either book before joining us. We’re not that kind of book club.
This event is FREE for Patrons. If you cannot commit to a monthly Patreon fee, that’s okay! You can still click here to register. All I ask is that you, consider sending a love offering of $5 or more to @TashmicaTorokLLC on Venmo.
Tashmica Torok 